The Killer Shrew
by maikaheniel
Summary: This has nothing to do with a little princess escpet that I doubt a princess would like this. It's mocking the movie "The Killer Shrew"


Hello everyone, I just wanted to let you know that this story is not in earnest. I saw the movie cover of "The Killer Shrew" and I thought it looked rather stupid (no offense). I haven't seen the movie, so I suppose I'm not authorized to write this, but I thought it would be amusing to make it out as something really dumb. I don't normally try to write this bad, so check out my LotR stories. Enjoy the story! Review if you feel the urge.

THE KILLER SHREW

The killer shrew crept throught the sewage pipe, hearing the steps above him and the inevitable flushing. He bit down hard on the side of the pipe as waste swept by him. After it left he continued on through the slimy rusting pipe until he reached his destination. The toilet.

He squeezed through and came up and gasped a breath of air. Not that he needed it yet, as he could hold his breath for hours. He tried to push the seat up, but it didnt move. He tried again and it shot up as a cat leapt off. In one powerful jump his jaws were on the cats neck and the cat was dead.

The murderous shrew looked around and stealthily crept towards an open door, the source of voices. He looked inside and a strategy began forming at the back of his clever little mind. He bit off his tail, and intsantly, magically, he began to grow.

When the shrew was two feet tall he spat the tail out and it went to his tail like metal to a magnet. Or vice versa. It grew rapidly to meet the size of his body and immediately the all the growing stopped. No one must ever discover his secret, for they could bite the tail off and they would instantly grow too. That is, if he didn't kill them first.

He had killed everything he had ever fought against. Once in Africa he had killed an elephant. That was his first fight. At first the elephant nearly killed him, if it's foot had been an inch closer he would have been squashed. Instead it had stomped on his tail and the bloody tail had been torn off. That's when he discovered its magic. He had picked up his tail in his mouth after the elephant had lifted its enormous foot and started to grow.

In minutes he was three times the height of the elephant and he merely stepped upon the elephant. He had kept growing until he finally spit the severed tail out. The tail flew back on him and he started to shrink when he licked it. When he was back to his normal size he had stopped growing.

Unbeknownst to him, a native had been watching him. When the shrew had walked a bit and lain down to sleep, the native threw the spear at him. Fortunately for the shrew the spear had missed by a mile, or so it seemed, and the shrew repeated the tail process and had then and there developed a taste for human flesh.

He already hated humans, they had killed his family when he was young. He was the only survivor. He was the smallest one, and he had been able to squeeze out of a tiny escape hole. The murderous gases had killed his family, he had passed out because of inhaling a breath or two of it. Perhaps that was where he got the magical tail. But no use thinking of the past. Now it was time for business.

He sped into the bedroom and abruptly stopped as he realized that it was a trap. The voices had been real, but they were not of the occupents of the house. They were from the Shrew Capture And Death Association. SCAD for short. They were covered in vegetable oil, the bane of every shrew's life. They also had oxygen masks and hoses, and the shrew knew that could mean only one thing.

He stared for the door, but it was too late. It had automatically closed when he had entered. Suddenly the evil gas came pouring out of the hoses. Suddenly the shrew had an idea. He would grow until the room couldn't contain him, and he could kill the men and escape when the room burst open.

He reached for his tail, but it was too late. The gas had already weakened him so much he didn't hae the strength to bite it off. The shrew sank to the floor in despair. He knew it was the end, the accursed humans would kill him as they had killed his family. Perhaps it was better that way.

He had one consolation. He had a son, who ha the same powers as him...and more he suspected. His son would avenge his death. The shrew closed his eyes, knowing that SCAD would rue the day they had killed him. As he fell into an eternal sleep, thoughts flitted across his memory of another time, a better time. He was with his family once more.


End file.
